Bitter Sweet

Every time I was upset, he would know

My heart would call out for him, and he would call..

I was there for him in the thickest moments of his life,

and so was he...

Late one night I drove down to the most remote part of city,

where no girl dared to wander alone at night..

but I had to go, he needed me...

his heart was broken and so was he.

Tears dropped down like the monsoon showers,

and the alcohol to replace those tears was endless.

He had called me to help his pissed self back home!

The shoulder we needed to rest 

our broken, hurt, tiered or relaxed hearts on..

was always each others! Always... My friend!

For years and years together

I could not explain my love for him,

my relation with him...

We had traveled between being 

friends, then lovers and then friends again..

and he was more important to me than I could ever explain!

And then, he choose to abandon me..

when I needed him by my side,

when I wanted to share the biggest joy of my life,

when I found the love of my life,

when I decided on my life partner...

he was gone...leaving without a word..

only questions..unanswered..with no direction!

I say 'Fine! Now he could die and I 

will not even shed a tear in remorse'

Anger of being cheated, of betrayal..

pain of having lost something soo important..

spite, for not knowing why

empty, hollow heart feeling dry!!

I hated him, 

and his betrayal made me bitter to the world.

Anger had found its home deep inside my system.

Days passed and the bitter angry liquid churned inside.

That day, after my shower,

as I prepared for my daily routine,

I got a taste in my mouth...

If i had to define 'bitter' I would say

'Its that taste I got' 

I puked, took all of it out, a dark liquid

I loved him, and always will

beyond human comprehension

And will wait for him to come

when he needs me..and i'll be there!

Always..My friend! 

The Random Tandem .. contd..

He was now blabbering, lost in her eyes, watching her bosom go up and down, imagining holding her breasts in his hands, sqeazing them enough to hear her shreik in sweet pain... he was losing his senses, and all he could think was only him with her. She was listening to hin intently but he was sure she had caught him watching her pull up her t-shirt neck to hide her cleavage. Interestingly, she did this once she knew that he had a good long glimpse at it. He could have doubted her intentions and her conduct too but what the heck, he was already gripped by her beauty. She had the lovliest smile in the world, the most comforting voice, and moreover a screwed up relationship. His thoughts were all interupted right then, his phone rang... Yes, it was.....


She stared at him as he spoke. He seemed to have gone into another dimension. Suddenly, she felt very aware of the fact that this was a man she knew nothing about. As he spoke, she noticed his pupils constantly dilating and his eyes moving between her face and her breasts. And then suddenly.....he looked down at his side, with an expression of a thief who had been caught and shifted around before he brought his palm to his ear and said 'Hello!'.....She starred at him as he got up talking to his palm and walked away as though in a very deep conversation (what actually looked like a fight) with someone very important. Amused, amazed and definitely freaked-out, she sat there on the now warm sand looking for her way to escape. A mad rush of thoughts were getting all jumbled in her head. There surely was something that she had missed...how could a man, soo amazing, with eyes soo tender, behave like this. She was trying to understand how a connection soo strong could have been felt, how could she have felt love soo soon for a man who was now evidently unstable. Was it possible to love a man without questioning the sanity of his mind? Was she the one with a disorder? Did she have the courage to confront him after this realization? Did she feel love so strong that it would over power the worldly codes of sanity? Soo many questions....and then she saw him walk back to her....

The Random Tandem

She sat exhausted at the window, relieved that the day had come to an end. But her eyes screamed in the terror of sunrise, a new day to begin. All her efforts were failing but the only thing keeping her alive was hope. It was very amusing how in such times also, she could do her daily chores and look forward to a happy being someday. It was almost 4am, when she heard it....


The sms beep had never brought such a lovely smile to her face earlier. she knew she would hear from him, it couldn't have been the other way round. the sms didn't read more than two words, still awake? And then the messages didn't stop pouring in. The wee hours of the morning too seemed sensous than ever. That was the kind of magic they created when together. Wonder how it all began one day...


One of the most beautifully calm, star clad nights, Naina was strolling by the beach...feeling the cool breeze brush her neck every now and then. Lost in her own fantasy land, she missed him lying on the beach. Tripping over him brought her back to reality and woke him up...they saw each other and knew that very moment, what love at first sight meant. She sat besides him and they just started talking....about life, themselves, art, music, dance..till the break of dawn..till they heard the first naryal paani vendor hacking at the beach. The magic had begun....


Sipping on the coconut water, she the paani-wala; he on the patla malai... the water had never seemed any sweeter. But beneath the endless conversation, the hide n seek of eye contact, those quick glimpses to check eachother's vital stats, the desire to hold the hands, the rush to kiss the softest lips in the world... there was something that was neatly hidden behind the veil. The truth! The face off with reality. And it was that part of their life which was not going to be easily washed away. The coconuts were done with, the magic was still on... but how were they planning to take the next step? And right then, a phone beeped. Hers of course, as always....


She looked distressed and moved away from him as she answered her call. He watched carefully to try and measure the seriousness of her conversation. As she returned, she looked like a different person to him. He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and a sudden flow of emotions that he could not explain. In those few seconds that she took to reach him, he had already died, thinking of a life without her. In his pain, he was convinced that she was in love with another man or worse...married!! But as she got closer, he saw her eyes and knew....He knew that cannot be but truth cannot be shooed away, for truth always dies last! And why was he doubting her as if he was a pure bred lover? He too was with someone in an official relationship. And the reason he was at the beach because they once again had one their ugly spats. Maybe that was her reason too to be at the beach so late in the night. She was close-by now, with sweaty palms and hair ruffled up by stress. Her eyes begged him to give her a chance to listen to her story. But he was drowning in the thoughts of how it never would be... 


Lost in his complexed thoughts, he suddenly heard her voice, which was now very firm, but had not lost the comforting, friendly tone. She sat down and confessed to him. Her relationship status was complicated and she wanted to end it. They spoke about each others relationships. Both were trying very hard to hide the mixed feelings of jealousy, resent, happiness, relief and above all the magic. In this moment, she had a sudden realization of how horrible this could be. She had spent the entire night with a man she had just met. He could be fooling her, tricking her, trying to get her into bed.....but his eyes couldn't be such fluent lairs, he couldn't fake being genuine! She looked at him, deep into his eyes, as he continued giving her advise about her relationship. He was definitely the most amazing man she had ever met, and there was something soo special about him that she knew she was in love with him...all over again!! She felt dirty to have had these thoughts about something sooo pure.. While he spoke... 

Lemonade!

The dark was darker than ever before...
The blue could not have been bluer...
in the state of blaahhh...
days passed by!!
friends, family, people, matter no more..
moments of feeling alive,
and then drifting through time
death seeming like her everyday life...
happiness long gone!
tearless eyes, whelming up time to time..
fearless mind, questioning its existence!

One sound through all this
keeping her alive...
hands her a lemon and
yells one day, to say...
'You my dear! are not a waste.
and its a shame if that is what you want to do with your life.
all that you have will end with you if you don't give..
creating an imbalance due to all the voids you were to fill.
take this lemon and make lemonade.
sell it, drink it, or just give it..do what your heart tells you to do..
but live...live again..
life is so beautiful with soo much to give.
The world has a lot to give..
gather as much as you can...
You have one life and no amount of regret
will ever bring life, time back!'

She live again...
resurrected from her grave of sanity and happiness...
smiling, glowing with life...
dancing with time before its time...
for this beauty called life to come to an end!

The voice smiles...
cause she keeps it alive and
away from the grave!